


The Dubious Honour of the First Bucky/Zed Fic on AO3

by ussdawntreader



Category: Z-O-M-B-I-E-S (Disney Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, background Addison Wells/Eliza Zambie, background Tracy/Jacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:14:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24125728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ussdawntreader/pseuds/ussdawntreader
Summary: Bucky will do anything - or anyone - to be the Clam Bake King.
Relationships: Bucky Buchanan/Zed Necrodopoulus
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	The Dubious Honour of the First Bucky/Zed Fic on AO3

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nigellica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nigellica/gifts).



  
  


Bucky leans across the dining hall table, making heavy eye contact with Stacy and then Lacy. “If I’m going to be the Clam Bake King - and I _will_ \- I need to make sure the way is clear.”

“You need to get rid of the competition,” Lacy says helpfully, nodding in understanding.

“Competition?” Bucky scoffs. “He’s no competition. But I do need to get that zombie vote. And if Zed is running, I can’t take that chance.” He pounds his fist on the table in frustration. “Everyone loves those stupid zombie lovebirds. We need to show everyone that Addison and Zed shouldn’t be the Clam Bake King and Queen.”

“But Bucky, we’ve tried everything,” Stacy says, ticking off on her fingers. “We’ve hacked their Z bands, we’ve had them declared monsters again...what else can we do?”

"There's only one way to end this," Bucky says, turning away to gaze into the middle distance. “There’s only one thing we haven’t tried: seduction."

"EW!" Stacy says, "Bucky, gross, she's like, your _cousin_."

"Yeah," Lacy puts in helpfully, "but like first cousin, right?"

"NOT ADDISON!" Bucky says, his whole body shuddering at the thought of touching that bewigged freak. "Zed." And his body gives a little shiver instead, almost like anticipation? No, horror. Definitely horror.

Stacy’s mouth makes a little O of surprise. “Breaking up Seabrook’s most beloved couple might be going too far, Bucky,” she says. “Even for us.”

“I wish Jacy and Tracy weren’t abroad this semester,” Bucky says, ignoring her. “I’d send them instead. But a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.”

“Hey!” Lacy says after a beat. “I could seduce Zed….if I wanted to.” She starts gagging uncontrollably.

“Right,” Bucky says. “You sure could. But Stacy, Lacy, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my years as cheer champion of this town, it’s that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. I’ll seduce Zed, I’ll expose him as a cheater, no one will vote for him, and I will be the Clam Bake King.” He flashes his cheeriest, blindingest, _winningest_ smile. “It’s foolproof.”

+

Zed isn’t _sneaking_ across campus. He’s just trying not to be noticed. Avoiding crowds, head down, hands in his pockets, he makes his roundabout way to class. Which he shares with Addison. What was he thinking trying to match schedules with her?

He didn’t think he’d ever be this much of a cliche, but then, he didn’t think he’d ever break up with Addison either. And here he is, two weeks later, having missed classes to avoid her and now on academic probation. He _can’t_ lose his football scholarship. He was the first zombie ever to get one.

He takes a little-used track between buildings and immediately collides with someone. They are better balanced than him because their hands grab Zed’s biceps, steadying him. “Whoa there, big guy,” they say.

“Sorry,” Zed says, before he realises who it is. “Are you - Oh. Bucky.”

“Oh. Zed,” Bucky says, his fake smile sharper than ever. “What’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?”

Zed cocks his head at Bucky, consideringly. “I go to school here?” he says. “Remember? You protested my admission for like three weeks.”

Bucky doesn’t remove his hands from Zed’s arms, even though usually he’d be scrambling away in fear and disgust about now. In fact, Bucky’s hands slide down to Zed’s elbows, a pleasant touch for someone so heinous…. Zed steps away.

“I meant,” Bucky says, “why are you going this way, instead of skipping hand in hand across the quad with your better half?”

That was almost _nice_ for Bucky. Is there something wrong with him? Zed is tempted to feel Bucky’s forehead for a fever, but he doesn’t want to get drop kicked. “Oh, just felt like going the scenic route,” Zed says, trying to pretend like it’s two weeks earlier and that comment about Addison isn’t a stab wound to the heart. “Well, I’m late for class.”

“Of course,” Bucky says, stepping aside. “I’ll see you later, Zed.”

And that - _weirdly_ \- feels less like a threat than usual.

+

“There’s definitely something wrong with him,” Stacy says at lunch the next day. They sit at their usual table near the windows, dining hall royalty. “Dark circles under his eyes, greener than usual, no sickeningly optimistic smile. Something is definitely going on.”

“Could just be midterms,” Lacy says. “I haven’t been sleeping nearly enough. Organic Chem is killing me.”

Bucky sneaks a look over his shoulder at Zed. As usual, he’s surrounded by his zombie buddies. Unusually, he looks like there’s a storm cloud hanging over his head. “Have you talked to Addison?” he asks Stacy and Lacy. For some reason, Bucky hasn’t felt like talking to his cousin himself this week.

Stacy sniffs. “I haven’t even seen her outside cheer practice.”

“Well, I haven’t seen anyone who isn’t a textbook in days,” Lacy says mournfully.

Or maybe, she’s avoiding _him_. He doesn’t have any reason to avoid Addison. None at all.

“I need a way to see him alone,” Bucky says. “Ideas?”

+

Agreeing to movie night seems like a colossally stupid idea when a) Zed hasn’t caught up on assignments and b) he’s not sure if Addison will be there. But part of their breakup agreement was to keep things normal. Normally, he’d go to a movie night with the cheerbies, so he’s going to Bucky’s dorm tonight. To keep things normal.

If he thinks the word _normal_ one more time, he’s going to scream.

Bucky’s room is actually in the same building as Zed’s, just on the top floor. And he doesn’t have a roommate. Bucky had a roommate at first, but for some mysterious reason, they left and no one ever replaced them. Kind of like how Bucky mysteriously had a corner office in their high school for “cheer business.”

Zed knocks on the door, not sure if he’s more nervous about seeing Addison for the first time or not seeing her at all.

“Hey big guy,” Bucky says, opening the door. When did this _big guy_ thing start?

“Hey Bucky,” Zed says. “I brought popcorn.” He holds up a box of the microwaveable bags. He’s pretty sure Bucky has an illegal microwave, toaster oven, and kettle.

“Thanks, come on in,” Bucky says. He sits on the futon that should have been someone’s bed. Zed closes the door behind him and drops onto a beanbag chair. It’s hideously uncomfortable but better than sitting too close to Bucky.

He looks around for Stacy, Lacy, and Addison. “Am I the first one here?” Zed asks. He purposefully arrived late to avoid one-on-one time with Bucky!

“I think you’re the only one coming,” Bucky says and Zed’s heart sinks. “Everyone else said midterms are killing them. But I just can’t look at a textbook anymore.”

“I’ll go then. I don’t want to impose.” Zed starts trying to extricate himself from the beanbag.

“No, it’s okay. I was going to watch a movie and chill anyway. If you want to hang out, that’s-” Bucky trails off once Zed successfully manages to stand up. He’s looking at Zed in a way that kind of freaks Zed out a little. Then, Bucky blinks and seems to snap out of it. “Uh, why don’t you sit on the futon? That beanbag is the worst.”

Zed is in a bit of a daze. Normally, his first instinct when alone with Bucky would be _run_ but for some reason, Bucky is being nice. But...why?

And then he realizes. Of course! Addison must have told Bucky they broke up. Why else would Bucky be this nice? And he could go back to his room with Bonzo and pretend that he’s fine and Addison is fine and everything is fine. Or he could stay here and veg on out Bucky’s ridiculously comfy futon.

So he sits. 

“Any requests?” Bucky says, opening Netflix. “A comfort movie?”

“Yeah, how about _Night of the Living Dead_?” Zed says. Bucky freezes, eyes wide, and Zed cracks up. “You’re too easy, Bucky. Anything is fine.”

Bucky ends up putting on some old Disney movie and Zed eats a whole bag of popcorn himself. He’s so comfy, he doesn’t move when the next movie starts autoplaying, and the next one, and then he’s asleep.

+

Bucky could have kicked Zed out of his room after the first movie.

He could have woken Zed up instead of putting a blanket over him.

He could have walked over to his own bed and gone to sleep there.

But he didn’t.

He wakes up to the heavy warmth of another body next to him. He feels a hand run through his hair and Zed rumbles, “Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaains.” But he knows, Bucky’s always known, that Zed won’t hurt him. 

And also that Zed loves freaking him out.

“Good morning, you freak,” Bucky says without heat. “What time is it?”

“Uhhhhh,” Zed says, checking his phone. “8?”

“What? Shit!” Bucky bolts up. “I’m late for cheer practice!” He starts stripping off his sweats and putting on his workout gear. He throws a shirt over his head and then notices Zed staring at him, mouth open.

“What?” Bucky said, grabbing his trainers and putting them on.

“I - uh, nothing!” Zed stutters. “Thanks for yesterday. I needed to chill.”

“No problem,” Bucky says. “Please let yourself out. Cheer practice is not going to run itself.”

And he races out the door, leaving Zed behind.

+

The next day, Zed is in the campus cafe, drinking a cup of coffee and wrestling with a psych paper, when a shadow crosses his work.

“Hey,” Bucky says when Zed looks up. “Can I join you?”

“Sure,” Zed says and gives Bucky some tableroom. Bucky sets his drink down and opens his backpack, grabbing his laptop and a textbook. 

“What are you working on?” Bucky asks.

“A psych paper,” Zed says, glumly. “Professor Guster is such a hardass, too. I need to bring my grades up if I want to keep my scholarship.”

“Hmmm,” Bucky says, tapping his keyboard. “I took that class last year. I think I still have my notes. Do you want them?”

Zed feels his mouth drop open in shock. “Are you serious? _Please_. I need all the help I can get right now.”

Bucky smiles. “No problem. I did my final paper on narcissistic personality disorder and got an A, so those are my credentials.” 

“Write what you know, hey?” Zed quips. There’s a pause and Zed looks up at Bucky, who is staring intently at him. “Uhhhhh, I was just kidding.”

Bucky snaps out of it to say, “No, it’s just - You have an eyelash.”  
  
“Oh!” Zed swipes ineffectually at his face. “Thanks.”

But Bucky is still staring. “Let me.” He leans in and gently brushes a fingertip against Zed’s cheekbone. “Got it!” He holds the offending eyelash up for Zed’s inspection.

Instinctively, Zed blows the eyelash away. Then his eyes lock on Bucky’s and Zed’s brain starts screaming at him _what are you thinking you idiot you can’t blow on other dudes now he’s going to think you want to blow on other-_

Bucky leans back in his chair and adjusts his laptop on his knees. “Anyway, Necrodopoulus, just because everything happens to be all about me, doesn’t make me a narcissist.”

Zed hides his grin behind his coffee cup. “Sure, Bucky.”

+

“Sooooooooo….what are people saying about us?” Bucky asks. “Are they wondering why the Cheer King and Bone Daddy of campus are openly having dates at the coffee shop?” He poses with his winning smile. _Crushed it_.

“Okay, please don’t say Bone Daddy about Zed ever again,” Stacy says. “That’s a disgusting visual I’ll never get out of my head. Also, no one is saying anything because it looked like you were just hanging out with your cousin’s boyfriend in a packed coffee shop.”

“WHAT?” Bucky shrieks. He visibly gets a hold of himself. “I mean, hmmm? What are you talking about?”

Bucky’s been thinking about that moment with eyelash and looking into Zed’s eyes and his mouth going dry literally nonstop. He didn’t expect no-one to notice how affected he was. ( _And how hard he got when Zed blew on him, those doe eyes wide...)_

“Yeah, sorry Bucky,” Lacy says, “but it really didn’t look like a date. Or like...a seduction. You could try taking him out to dinner?”

“Or to a movie!” Stacy chimes in.

“Mini-golfing!” Lacy adds.

“Dancing!”

“Oooh, yes,” Lacy says. “You have to make him your date to the Clam Bake and then take him home and he’ll do a walk of shame! Everyone will know you’re dating then.”

Bucky throws his hands up. Lacy and Stacy freeze. “I’m loving these ideas,” he says and they smile in relief. “But Lacy, your timeline is way off. The Clam Bake is next week and all these things need to happen before then.”

Stacy taps her cheek. “Didn’t you say he’s struggling to keep his scholarship? Maybe we could use that…”

Lacy’s eyes widen. “Well, you can’t do all these dates if he’s studying! Just keep getting him alone. Stacy and I will take care of the rest.”

Bucky grins at them. “I’ve trained you so well.”

+

**The Actual Devil:** _Study sesh later?_

 **Zed:** _im sorry...who’s this?_

 **The Actual Devil:** _Haha._

_It’s Bucky._

**Zed:** _Sure...what time?_

 **The Actual Devil:** _7? My place?_

 **Zed:** _sounds good_

The worst part of being roommates with a music major is when Bonzo is composing. Arrhythmic tuba sounds make it impossible to study in their room, so Zed was actually relieved that Bucky texted him.

He’s still working on his psych paper. He’s decided against writing his paper on narcissistic personality disorder like Bucky and chooses to compare real cases of dissociative identity disorder with how DID is portrayed in some media. So he got to watch _Split_ last night and now he has to dig up articles about it. 

As he climbs the stairs to Bucky’s room, he thinks about how weird it is that he’s willingly hanging out with Bucky. Alone! Truly unprecedented times.

Bucky answers his door wearing a tight henley and sweats. For an unrelated reason, Zed’s mouth goes dry.

“Hey hey, Necrodopoulus,” Bucky says. “What’s up?”

“The same psych paper,” Zed says, stepping into the room. “What’re you working on?”

“My lab write-up for Movement Disorders,” Bucky says. “Where do you want to set up?”

Bucky’s stuff is on the bed so Zed settles into the futon. He opens his laptop and starts tracking down articles for his paper. After a couple minutes, his eyes flick over to Bucky, who’s wearing _glasses_ and chewing on a pencil.

Zed _tries_ to focus on his article. He really does. He gets halfway through it and even finds some supporting quotes for his thesis. And then Bucky gets up and stretches.

“Sorry if I’m disturbing you,” Bucky says, twisting in a way that flexes his biceps. Zed can almost see the definition of Bucky’s abs through his shirt. “It’s hard to read and write about moving your muscles without getting up once in a while.”

“Yeah, I bet,” Zed says absently, trying not to stare at Bucky’s broad shoulders. He tears his gaze away, back to his harmless psych paper.

“Mind if I join you?” Bucky asks. “I have to move around a lot when I study.”

“No problem.” Zed laughs, a little nervous. No wait. Why would he be nervous? He’s cool. Sharing a couch with Bucky and his jacked arms and ripped abs is cool. Nothing to not be cool about.

Bucky sits and starts typing away. Meanwhile, Zed is using all of his willpower not to look over at him. Instead, Zed stares with his _peripheral_ vision. See? Much chiller.

 _Focus_.

He finishes the article and starts a new one. Bucky stands again to stretch his neck and floss a nerve or something, Zed wasn’t really listening because Bucky’s not-that-loose sweatpants are eye level. Aaaand his mouth goes dry again.

“You okay?” Bucky asks him, when he sits again.

It can’t be Zed’s imagination that he’s sitting closer than before. Can it?

“I’m fine! I’m cool. Just … studying.” What is _wrong_ with him?!

“Do you need a break?” Bucky asks. “You’ve been going hard for like an hour.”

 _Yeah, he has_. Shut up, Zed tells his brain furiously. “Yeah,” Zed says instead, setting his laptop on the floor.

“Zed,” Bucky says to make Zed look up at him. “Can I?” Bucky holds his hands up.

“Uh-wha-sure,” Zed says coherently.

Bucky settles his fingers on Zed’s neck and shoulders and presses firmly. “That ok?” he asks softly.

Zed straight up moans in response and Bucky laughs. “The magic of spirit fingers,” he quips. 

Bucky’s hands are warm and strong. Zed feels his eyes flutter shut like a fucking rom-com. When did he start trusting Bucky to touch him like this? To not hurt him? Bucky smoothes a firm path to Zed's mid-back.

“Zed,” Bucky says softly. Zed can feel Bucky’s breath on his face. He opens his eyes. Bucky’s face is _right there_. Zed sees Bucky’s mouth about to form another sentence. So Zed presses his mouth against Bucky’s.

Kissing Bucky is not like kissing Addison. Bucky’s bigger, stronger, _everythinger_. Bucky’s tongue immediately makes a soft glide against Zed’s bottom lip. His hands slide down Zed’s back to rest on his hips, pressing Bucky flush against him. Zed brings his hands up to comb through Bucky’s thick curls, the strands short and soft.

Zed makes a sound that is embarrassingly close to a whimper when Bucky’s tongue touches his. Bucky is so good at this, at making Zed feel hot and ready…

Ready for what? This intrusive thought makes Zed snap his head back suddenly. And then to scoot back on the futon. He needs space. He needs...

“You ok?” Bucky asks. There’s concern on his face and Zed thinks it makes Bucky look better than ever. 

“I,” Zed starts. “I have to go.” He grabs his laptop and his bag and flees.

+

“Soooo,” Lacy says mischievously, the next morning at practice. Her eyes are watching the frosh practice their throws, but her expression is sly. “How’d your _study session_ go last night?”

“Did you study _hard_ ?” Stacy says, grinning. “And _long_?”

Bucky should be triumphant. His plan worked! They kissed. Zed is basically seduced. But he feels prickly instead.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Bucky says pointedly, “but we just studied.”

Bucky watches Stacy and Lacy exchange a look. They think he’s being bitchy because his plan isn’t working. But it’s working too well. Bucky didn’t expect to like the feel of Zed’s cool skin under his hands. To like his smell. Even the taste of him last night…

“Don’t worry,” Stacy tells him. “Try again today.”

“I don’t know,” Bucky says, “I was thinking I’d give him some space.”

Lacy whips her head around to stare at him. “Bucky. The Clam Bake is _next week_. You don’t have time to give him space. Do you want to be Clam Bake King?”

“I want to be Clam Bake King,” Bucky says but his words sound hollow, especially to himself.

“Then go get your man,” Stacy says encouragingly.

“Right,” Bucky says and resolves to avoid Zed at all cost.

+

The library on campus is insanely busy when Zed gets there in the early afternoon. He’s determined to smash out this psych paper and not think about what happened last night. Finding a spot at a communal table in the silent zone, he sets up and makes a good start. Everyone around him is studying hard and their focus rubs off on him.

After a few hours, he gets up. It’s still super busy so he leaves his books out to save his spot, taking his laptop with him down to the cafe. He drinks his coffee standing up and scarfs down a protein bar. He takes his time returning to his spot.

Bucky is at the table, sitting in the spot next to Zed’s where a girl with cat ear headphones was when he left.

“What are you doing here?” Zed practically shrieks.

Seven people _shhhhhhhh_ him simultaneously. Zed self-consciously drops into his seat. 

Bucky spreads his hands over his books and notes, conveying he’s there to study. Then Bucky points away from the table, the question on his face. _Should I go?_

Zed shakes his head. Headphones on, laptop open, he’s focused, he’s working, he’s almost done this fucking paper….

Bucky puts his glasses on.

Zed shifts in his seat.

Bucky is drawing? No, he’s tracing muscles in his notebook. From Zed’s angle, it looks like the back and Zed remembers how Bucky’s hands smoothed a path down his back yesterday when they -

 _Snap out of it_ , Zed tells himself. With herculean effort, he writes four more paragraphs and the conclusion. He’s staring at his paper, willing himself to start the bibliography when he realises he has to pee.

Looking around, Zed notices that the quiet zone is practically deserted. It’s not too late, only around 9 (practically mid-afternoon for college students), so he’s a bit surprised at how much the crowd thinned out. Hopefully everyone’s not taking a pee break at the same time.

There’s only him and Bucky left at their table.

“Bucky,” Zed whispers. Bucky looks up and for a second Zed freezes. He cannot get over the glasses.

“Yeah?” Bucky whispers back, eyebrows raised.

“Can you watch my stuff for a second?” 

Bucky nods and leans back over his notebook. Zed books it to the bathroom. Afterward, at the sink, he splashes cold water on his face. “Get a hold of yourself, Necrodopoulus,” he says to his reflection.

“Am I interrupting something?” 

Zed jumps at Bucky’s smug voice and spins to face the doorway. “Uhhhh no?” 

Bucky just stands in the doorway, looking at the water drip down Zed's face.

“Did you need…?” Zed says, gesturing to the stalls. He grabs a paper towel from behind him, dries his face, throws it trash.

“No, actually, I came in here to talk to you,” Bucky says. “About last night.” He steps a bit closer.

“It’s cool - we don’t - I didn’t -” Zed starts and abandons three different sentences as Bucky keeps stepping closer slowly.

Bucky is smiling at him. Not that fake everyone-loves-Bucky smile, not the you’re-an-actual-idiot smirk, a _real_ smile. A soft one that Zed has only seen when they’re alone recently. Like last night.

“Are you...okay?” Bucky asks softly, when he comes to conversational distance. Instead of shouting-across-the-bathroom distance.

“I’m fine,” Zed says, too quickly, but also truthfully. What’s fucking him up is not that he liked kissing a guy because he’s known about that part of himself for a while. It hadn’t mattered because he was dating Addison. It’s that he liked kissing _Bucky_. Last week he would have listed Bucky as his number one nemesis with no compunction whatsoever. 

Also, he and Addison _just_ broke up. Should he really be thinking about this now?

“Are you okay?” Zed asks Bucky. 

“I’m...fine,” Bucky says, but not mimicking Zed for once. They stand there for a minute, looking at each other and trying to find something to say. Bucky's smile slips off his face and he starts looking at the floor.

Zed realises that Bucky is not going to come any closer, that Bucky might actually _leave_. So he reaches out and grabs Bucky’s elbow. Recognising it for the weird and unsexy move it was, Zed slides his palm under Bucky’s arm until he reaches his hand. 

Zed tugs Bucky closer. Kissing distance now. Not that he’s thinking about kissing Bucky again.

Oh fuck it, of course he is.

“Hi,” Zed says, for something to say.

“Hi.” That soft smile appears again and Zed wants to kiss it off Bucky’s face.

So he does.

He only has to lean down a little and Bucky lifts his chin and there it is. A fizzy feeling sparks wherever he touches Bucky, his hands, his lips, his tongue. It feels like magic.

Bucky lifts his hand to cup the nape of Zed’s neck gently. This kiss is tender and wonderful but Zed doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want gentle touches and tender caresses.

He drops Bucky’s hand so that he can lift him by the thighs to sit on the sink counter, picking Bucky up and turning in one quick movement. Zed steps between Bucky’s open legs, pressing their bodies together.

Now he can really feel Bucky, his strength, his hard muscles, his hard dick. Zed wants him so much. Is his Z-Band malfunctioning? This hunger seems like it’s too much but Bucky’s arms wrap around him, pulling Zed even closer. Bucky wants him too.

It’s when he moves his lips down to Bucky’s throat, enjoying the rasping scrape of stubble, that he hears his name.

“Zed.”

He presses a kiss to where Bucky’s neck meets his shoulder. It’s unbelievably soft.

“ZED!”

He pulls back to look in Bucky’s eyes. “I-whaaa?” Zed asks.

“Zed,” Bucky says carefully, breathing hard. “We’re in a bathroom in the library. Anyone could walk in.”

“Shit,” Zed says, forcing himself to take a step back. Away from Bucky’s tempting mouth. He takes a few more steps back for good measure.

“I told Lacy to watch our stuff,” Bucky says. “She’s probably wondering what happened to us.”

Zed gets enough of a hold on himself to give Bucky an ironic look. “We are in a bathroom.”

Bucky’s face goes serious in an instant. “Let’s get one thing straight, Necrodopoulus,” he says, pointing a finger into Zed’s chest. “As far as anyone is concerned, Bucky Buchanan does not poop. End of story.”

“What?!” Zed says, bursting into laughter. “That’s ridiculous.”

Bucky hops off the counter and checks his appearance in the mirror. He has to adjust himself to hide the evidence of his boner and _that_ isn’t helping Zed’s own little problem at all. “That,” Bucky says, “is the truth. Now come on, I’ll walk you home.”

“Bucky, we live in the same building,” Zed says.

“Well, that just makes it a bit easier, doesn’t it?” Bucky opens the bathroom door. “Coming?”

“Give me a minute,” Zed says. He has to splash some more cold water on his face.

+

“Bucky, you _animal_ ,” Stacy says, dropping her tray onto the dining hall table and sitting down. “Lacy told me what you and a certain zombie got up to in the bathroom last night.”

Bucky should have known Lacy wouldn’t be able to keep her mouth shut. That was the annoying thing about minions. They always wanted to be in on everything.

“Nothing happened,” he says, going for wide-eyed innocence.

“Is nothing what we’re calling making out in the library bathroom?” Lacy says.

“No, Lace,” Stacy says, “nothing is beard-burn all over your throat...No wait, sorry. Must’ve been a _bug bite_.” 

“I never said I had a bug bite!” Bucky protests. Lacy and Stacy just start laughing when Bucky touches his throat gingerly.

They stop abruptly when a shadow crosses their table.

“Hi,” Zed says, casually. “Mind if I join you?” As if this wasn’t a monumental shift in the dining hall hierarchy.

“Go ahead,” Lacy says, even though he was _clearly talking to Bucky_.

“There’s always room at the Clam Bake King’s table,” Stacy says, barely holding back a snort.

Zed sits on Stacy’s other side. And then Bonzo sits next to him. And of course Bree has to come too. The only one missing is Addison. 

“So,” Zed chirps, “the Clam Bake is next week?”

“As if you didn’t know,” Lacy shoots back.

Stacy gives her a calm-the-fuck-down-please look and then turns to Zed. “Are you going?”

Zed shrugs. “I’m still trying to catch up on all my assignments.”  
  
“Don’t worry, Zed,” Lacy says malevolently, resting her chin in her hand. “I’m sure those _long_ nights at the library are going to start paying off soon.”

There’s an awkward beat. Bucky is in the weird position of having to call off his minions. But before he can say anything, Bree chimes in. “I can’t wait. Midterms have been such a killer.” She grabs Bonzo’s hand. “We’re going to dance all night!”

Bonzo says something that sounds like complete gibberish, but Bree sighs happily. Lacy and Stacy look like they’re going to throw up.

Then Bree’s eyes snap to Zed. “Are you going with Addison? Does she have a dress picked out?”

Bucky watches Zed shove a massive piece of waffle into his mouth to avoid answering. The whole table watches him chew it slowly, swallow it down. “Uhhhhhhhh,” Zed says, “we haven’t talked about it.” He shovels in another piece of waffle.

And for some reason Bucky feels nauseated. 

Zed _cheated_. On Addison. With Bucky. Obviously Zed is going to have to tell Addison and then they’re going to break up. Or not. Either way, they’ll both hate Bucky.

Even though he’s not done eating, Bucky gets up. “Gotta get to class,” he says weakly and practically runs out of the dining hall.

He doesn’t have class. Instead, he goes straight back to his room, climbs under all his blankets, and tries not to hate himself.

He fails.

+

**Zed:** _Hey._

 **Zed:** _You ok?_

 **Zed:** _Lacy said you’re not feeling well. That’s the first time she’s talked to me in class._

 **Zed:** _Can I bring you some soup?_

 **The Actual Devil:** _sure_

Maybe Zed got a little too ambitious this morning bringing his friends to sit with the Captains. But he thought that Bucky had been so different recently that things might have changed.

They hadn’t. Obviously.

Even though tupperware containers are strictly banned in the dining hall, Zed charms the lunch lady into filling a huge vat of chicken noodle soup for Bucky. Actually, maybe it wasn't his charm but dropping Bucky's name that gets the soup. Doesn't matter. Either way, soup is achieved.

Zombies don’t get sick but everyone knows that sick people need soup. Zed cheerfully grabs two buns on his way out.

As he walks back to his dorm, Zed can’t stop thinking about Bucky. Yesterday in the library was amazing. Then Bucky had walked him to his door and kissed him again. Quickly. But still. Zed had finished up his paper and knocked out _another_ assignment last night, feeling like he was floating.

Zed has to juggle the soup and buns into one hand before he can knock on Bucky’s door. He’s laughing at himself when Bucky answers the door.

“Hey,” Zed says. “I brought your soup. Had to sneak it out, zombie-ninja-style past security.” He strikes a ninja pose.

Bucky laughs, accepting the container of soup and buns. “Thanks. Did you eat already? We can share this.”

“I’m good. Had some ‘za for dinner,” Zed says, looking him over. Bucky’s normally neat curls are rumpled but he seems perky enough. Maybe he’s not that sick.

Zed sits on the futon. Where they first kissed. _Shut up brain_. Bucky dumps the soup into a bowl, sits next to Zed, and starts eating. 

“Thanks for this,” Bucky says between bites. “So what’re you up to tonight?”

Zed grins. “Well. I’m almost all caught up on assignments, so I’m giving myself the night off.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? And what are you going to do with your night off?”

“The question is more, _who_ am I going to do with my night off.”

Bucky chokes on his soup. “Sorry-I-whaaa?” he says, coughing and managing to sound very much like Zed.

“It’s okay,” Zed says quickly, “I was joking! I know you’re sick. We can just hang out. If you want.”

Bucky starts being able to breathe normally. “I want,” he says a little hoarsely, smiling at Zed, and goes back to eating his soup. To Zed, it looks like he’s eating a little faster than usual but maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

“So do you want to watch a movie or something?” Bucky says, when he’s done. He puts the bowl on a dresser to wash it later. He sits on the bed, keeping space between him and Zed.

“Not really,” Zed says. 

“So what do you want to do?” Bucky asks, looking a little confused.

Zed walks over to sit next to Bucky on the bed. “I told you,” Zed says softly.

Bucky smiles. And Zed places his palm against Bucky’s cheek, where he sees the laugh lines when Bucky smiles like that.

They lean in, toward each other, and the kiss is soft, sweet, and perfect. “Is this okay?” Zed whispers against Bucky’s lips. He _is_ sick, supposedly.

“Yes,” Bucky whispers back. He sweeps into Zed’s mouth with his tongue, letting Zed know he’s more than fine, wrapping one arm around Zed, and resting his other hand on Zed’s hip.

“Come here,” Zed says, scooting back to lay against the headboard. Bucky follows on hands and knees. He pauses, his mouth hovering over Zed’s, and Zed has to reach up to kiss him. 

Zed’s hands slip under Bucky’s shirt, feeling warm smooth skin over Bucky’s muscles. “Oh my zod,” Zed says, his voice little breathier than he’d care to admit. “You’re so hot.” He trails his fingertips over Bucky’s ridged stomach, his defined hips. His tight ass.

Bucky’s own hands trace over Zed’s body, equally desperate, equally appreciative. “You too,” Bucky whispers. Then, abruptly, he sits back.  
  
“Noooooo,” Zed says, then sees it was just to whip his shirt off. 

“Yessssss,” Zed says to all of Bucky’s chest and abs on sweet, sweet display.

Bucky huffs a laugh and then tugs Zed’s shirt up. “Your turn.”

Zed sits up to take his shirt off. He unzips his jeans while he’s at it. Just in case. He’s not sure how far Bucky wants to go tonight, but he wants Bucky to know that he’s down for whatever. Whatever Bucky wants.

The realisation that he’s never seen Bucky with anyone, a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a partner hits Zed suddenly. Is Bucky a virgin? Should they stop?

Then Bucky presses Zed back against the headboard, kisses him again and slides a hand down Zed’s stomach. When Bucky holds Zed’s dick through his boxers, it feels so good Zed is pretty sure he sees shooting stars.

“Is this okay?” Bucky asks and Zed can hear the thread of a laugh in his voice.

“Ohhhh yeah,” Zed says. “More than okay. Let me just-”

He unwraps his arms from around Bucky and shimmies his jeans and boxers down, pushes them as far as he can (not very far). Then he brings his hands to the waistband of Bucky’s sweats. “Can I?” he asks.

“Fuck yes,” Bucky says, but he scrambles out of his sweats himself. Zed takes the opportunity to push his own pants all the way off and reaches for Bucky again.

Who is standing up, off the bed, whyyyyyyyy. 

Zed actually says that last part aloud because Bucky laughs and says, “Just give a minute.” He’s reaching into the back of his top dresser drawer and when he turns, Zed sees he’s got condoms and lube.

Later, much later, after they’ve used up a good amount of said condoms and lube, they’re going to have a talk about why Bucky would keep them so _far away_.

Bucky tosses his stash into the corner, on the other side of Zed. He crawls over Zed on hands and knees again and Zed feels tantalising heat where Bucky’s skin brushes his. Bucky is so warm, so human. 

“Don’t move,” Bucky says. Zed obediently tucks his hands behind his head and feels like he’s going to lose his fucking mind if Bucky doesn’t touch him again.

And Bucky kisses his mouth gently with lips and tongue. He presses a kiss to the corner of Zed’s mouth, moving down to kiss Zed’s throat, his collarbone, a nipple. Zed groans out Bucky’s name as Bucky keeps moving down, pressing kisses to Zed’s stomach and hip. 

Zed wants to writhe and arch under Bucky’s mouth and tongue but he said not to move. So Zed stays put, his body taut and trembling with the effort.

Then Zed feels a slow lick along the shaft of his dick.

“BuckyBucky _Bucky_ ,” Zed says, lifting his head to look at him. Bucky looks into his eyes and his mouth is _so close_ to Zed’s dick but Zed has to ask. “Are you - are you sure about this?”

“Yeah Zed,” Bucky says. Zed feels each puff of air on the sensitive head of his dick. “I’m sure.” He leans down, opens his mouth and -

“I just mean, have you done this before?” Zed closes his eyes and presses a fist into his forehead. _Stop talking and let him blow you, you fucking dumbass_. He’s going to die if he keeps this up.

Zed feels Bucky rest his chin gently on Zed’s thigh. Zed keeps his eyes closed, hoping to regain some semblance of control. “One night at cheer camp,” Bucky says, his hand wrapping around Zed’s dick and slowly jacking him off, “before Jacy and Tracy became exclusive, we played a round of Never Have I Ever. When they found out I hadn’t done anything with anyone-ever-they offered to help me out.”

Zed’s brain must really not be working properly because that sounds like…

His eyes shoot open to stare at Bucky in amazement. “Your first time was a _THREESOME_? With Jacy and Tracy?!” 

“Yup,” Bucky says, popping the p. “They really taught me a lot. Should I show you?”

Zed’s dick flexes of its own accord in Bucky’s warm hand. “You’re killing me,” Zed admits.

“Oh, big guy,” Bucky says, loosening his grip on Zed’s dick. “I’m just getting started.” 

And he proceeds to deepthroat Zed in one easy swallow.

Zed would like to pretend that he didn’t come embarrassingly quickly. But he was way fired up and with visions of cheersomes in his head, he didn’t really stand a chance against Bucky’s warm, soft mouth. Bucky swallows his come and Zed is left wondering what the hell happened during that first night.

Zed takes a minute, trying to catch his breath, before he sits up. Bucky lays next to him, looking extremely smug. Zed _really_ wants to wipe that smirk off his face. “Your turn,” he tells Bucky and it comes off vaguely threatening. A threatening of pleasure. 

In response, Bucky hands Zed the lube. “I want,” he starts, as Zed’s eyes widen. “I want your fingers,” Bucky says in a rush, watching Zed carefully for his reaction. Zed’s not sure what his expression was but Bucky laughs. “Zed, when you keep your mouth open like that, I want to fill it.”

“Absolutely,” Zed says nonsensically, kissing Bucky’s mouth and tasting himself on his lips. “For sure.” He wants to tease Bucky and drop seductive little kisses down his chest too, but he doesn’t have the patience.

He tries to mimic Bucky’s ease at sucking dick, but he trips his own gag reflex and comes up for air spluttering.

“Off to an amazing start,” Zed mutters to himself and doesn’t look up to see if Bucky is laughing at him. He glares at Bucky’s pretty dick, a thick column with a mushrooming tip. “All right,” he says to it. “Let’s do this.”

He tries again, slower. Pulling Bucky’s dick into the back of his mouth slowly, hollowing his cheeks as he sucks leisurely. He swallows. Over the blood rushing in his ears - _he’s doing it!_ \- he hears Bucky chanting his name.

Triumphant, he slowly lets Bucky’s dick fall out of his mouth and kneels up. He flicks open the lube cap and douses his fingers liberally. Bucky looks boneless, sprawled on his bed, eyes wide. 

“Spread your legs,” Zed tells him. Bucky does, his knees easily falling open in a line with his hips and Zed had never considered what fucking turn on flexibility could be. Zed uses his left hand to nudge Bucky’s hips up, exposing his tight ring of muscle.

“Are you ready?” Zed asks, leaning down to use his breath to tease Bucky’s dick. Turnabout is fair play after all. He gently circles the tip of a finger around Bucky’s hole.

Bucky _writhes_ , body arching up, hands fisting the bedsheets. “Zed,” he says, “please. Your mouth.”

Zed hadn’t considered begging a particular kink of his, but Bucky begs so pretty. For positive reinforcement, he sucks the tip of Bucky’s dick back in his mouth. He keeps his finger gentle against Bucky’s entrance, not pushing inside.

“Zeeeeeeed,” Bucky moans and Zed moves his mouth up to suck the tip of Bucky’s dick.

“ _Please_.” Zed moves his mouth down again.

“Zed, if you don’t …”

Bucky can’t even finish his threat, he’s so far gone. His body is taut, knuckles clenched white. Zed is so, so glad Bucky got him off first, so he can sit back and enjoy the beautiful spectacle of need Bucky is making right now.

And so he can have the forethought to take his time pouring more lube in his hand, drenching Bucky’s hole, teasing him just a bit more. To see how he takes it.

Bucky whimpers. Zed takes pity on him. He wraps one hand around Bucky’s dick and slowly jacks him off while he pushes a finger slowly in Bucky’s hole. 

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuck,” Bucky moans.

Zed crooks that finger, just to see what will happen, and feels Bucky tighten. “That couldn’t be it. Already?” Zed says. He crooks that finger again and notices how Bucky’s dick starts to leak pre-come.

“I guess I am just that good,” Zed says. He leans down to suck Bucky’s dick in his mouth, tongue swirling, finger crooking, and it’s not long all before Bucky spills down his throat.

“Was that okay?” Zed asks, flopping down on the bed next Bucky. “Next ti-”

He doesn’t get to finish his thought before Bucky’s kissing him.

“Shut up, Necrodopoulus,” Bucky says fondly.

He does.

+

“Faking sick? Getting him to bring you soup? Making out?” Stacy’s voice rises in volume with every word. “Bucky, your plan totally worked!”

Lacy looks revolted. “I can’t be in here,” she says, glaring around Bucky’s room. “It reeks of boy sex.” She starts texting furiously as she runs out the door.

Ten seconds later, Bucky’s phone rings. Stacy snatches it before Bucky can answer and puts it on speaker.“ _What_ is the _issue_?” Tracy’s drawl is unmistakable. “Do you even know what time it is here?”

“Bucky decided to seduce Zed to get the zombie vote for Clam Bake King,” Stacy recaps. “But now Bucky’s acting super weird.”

“I think he’s caught feelings,” Stacy calls through a crack in the door.

“Ew!” Tracy says. “For Zed?!”

Bucky buries his face in his hands. Minions were just the worst. Finally, he says, “The plan isn’t working. I got Zed to cheat on Addison but it’s not like they’re ever going to break up. I’m going to be Clam Bake King anyway. This idea was just stupid.”

There’s dead silence in the room. Lacy pokes her head into the room to stare at Bucky incredulously.

“Oh my god,” Tracy breathes. “Well, you have to tell him how you feel, Bucky!”

“Uhhh, no I don’t,” Bucky says. “I don’t tell him anything ever and he lives happily ever after with my cousin and they get married and I give her away and they pop out beautiful babies and they all live happily ever after.”

“Okay, first of all,” Stacy says, “you said they’d live happily ever after twice.”

“And why would you give your cousin away?” Tracy asks.

“He’s spiralling,” Lacy comments.

“No shit,” says Stacy.

“Ladies!” Tracy snaps. “Bucky, listen. It’s fucking four in the morning here and this queen needs her beauty sleep. You have to tell Zed how you feel. ACs, you need to be supportive in these unprecedented times. And you need to stop calling me at four in the _fucking_ morning.” He hangs up.

Lacy walks back into the room. She sits down next to Bucky and takes his hand. “You heard him,” she says gently, “you have to tell Zed.”

Bucky feels like his chest is cracking open. Is this heartbreak? He didn’t expect it to feel so literal.

“I will,” he says. “Tonight.”

+

It was bound to happen sometime, Zed knew. Especially since they shared so many classes. Addison was late to their psych lecture and the only seat left was next to Zed. So he had the distinct _un_ pleasure of smelling and accidentally brushing against his highschool sweetheart. His ex-girlfriend as of...three weeks ago.

It’s less torture than it would have been even a few days ago. But today, with the memory of Bucky’s rumpled curls in his hands and the smell of him on Zed’s skin, he barely notices.

When the lecture ends, Addison turns to him.

“So,” she says, “how have you been?”

_Great! Been banging your cousin._

“Fine,” Zed says instead. “You?”

She looks away. “Fine. Um.” She takes a deep breath and says quickly, “I’ve sort of been seeing someone.”

“Oh!” Zed says. “Okay. Do I know them?”

He expects her to say Wyatt because _of course_. That guy’s been after her for years. But she bites her lip nervously. “Please don’t be mad. But, yes. It’s Eliza.”

His best friend. Who, come to think of it, he hasn’t seen in a few weeks. He chalked up to midterms and his own emotional fugue state. Apparently he should have chalked it up to guilt and avoidance.

“I’m not mad,” he says. “I’m happy for you.” And he is, shockingly, not really lying. “Actually,” he continues casually, “I wanted to say that I’m glad you told Bucky we broke up. He’s been really cool these past few days.”

Addison blinks rapidly in confusion. “But Zed,” she says carefully, “I didn’t tell Bucky we broke up. I didn’t even tell Eliza. She Sherlock Holmes-ed it out of me.”

That takes a second to sink in. “You didn’t even tell Bree,” Zed says, remembering that breakfast with his friends and Bucky in the dining hall.

She shakes her head. “Bree knows now, I told her last night. But yeah, I’ve kept it pretty quiet. You know you can’t tell Bucky anything or he’ll announce it to the whole campus after jumping through a banner with his face on it.”

 _That’s not fair_ , Zed wants to say. But that’s who Bucky has always been. The kind of person you can’t trust not to hurt you. The kind of person who’ll do anything to win. The kind of person that will kiss you and fuck you, even knowing that you’re dating his cousin.

“Zed?” Addison asks. “You all right?”

“Fine!” Zed replies brightly, shooting her a quick grin. “I better get going. I still have lots of studying to do.”

He packs up his stuff and practically sprints out of the lecture hall. He needs to talk to Bucky _right now_. He takes the path between buildings toward his dorm, so focused on reframing the past few days with Bucky not knowing him and Addison weren’t together that he pays no attention to where he’s going or who’s around him.

The feelings inside of him are the same as when his Z-Band started malfunctioning. There’s too much hurt and rage. He _trusted_ Bucky.

But that’s just it, isn’t it? It’s his own fucking fault. He trusted _Bucky_. 

And of course, he rams straight into someone. They grab his biceps and it’s so weirdly similar to how this whole thing with Bucky got started. 

And of course, it _is_ Bucky.

“Hey, big guy,” Bucky says. There’s that soft smile again. It must be just as fake as the rest of Bucky. Zed can’t believe he fell for it. That he fell for _Bucky_. This guy egged Zed’s house throughout high school. How could Zed honestly have thought anything had changed?

Zed steps roughly out of Bucky’s arms. “Good,” he says curtly, “it’s you.”

Bucky’s brow crinkles and his smile dims a little. “I wanted to tell you something,” he says, a little uncertainly.

“Me too,” Zed says. 

“Okay,” says Bucky. “You first.”

Zed stares at the air next to Bucky’s left ear. He doesn’t even want to look at Bucky. “Addison and I are over,” he says. In his peripheral vision, he sees Bucky’s expression change. He looks sad. “We’ve been over for a few weeks. I thought you knew that. I thought you were being … kind. But you didn’t know. So what you did was really shitty, Bucky.”

He shifts his eyes to see Bucky’s expression. He looks stricken. “Zed,” he says shakily, “I’m sorry. I know. I _know_ and you have every right to be pissed at me. But I wanted to tell you something too. I like you. A lot. And I was wondering if you’d be my date to the Clam Bake.”

Zed can’t help it. He laughs. “Are you serious? Bucky, you fucking narcissist! You can’t try to break up a relationship and think that everything’s going to be okay because you admitted to having actual human feelings. No, I will not be your date to the fucking Clam Bake.”

He pushes roughly past Bucky, walks back to his dorm room, burrows under the blankets. He’ll be alright. He just needs to stay there for a little while.

+

**The Actual Devil:** _Zed, I’m so sorry._

 **The Actual Devil:** _Can we talk? Please?_

“Bucky!” Someone calls through the door. “I know you’re in there! Open up!”

“Leave me alone!” he shouts back. “I’m fine!”

“Bucky Buchanan, open this door before I tell the ACs _exactly_ what you did to my Barbies in kindergarten.”

Bucky scrambles over the covers to fling his door open.

“Hi,” Addison chirps. No Lacy or Stacy in sight. She pokes her head in the room and takes in the closed blinds, dirty dishes, and stale blankets. “Going through something?”

“No,” Bucky says cheerfully. “I’m totally fine!” He smiles brightly.

“Great! Go take a shower then,” Addison says. “You smell disgusting.”

She pushes past him and sits on the beanbag. “Go ahead,” she says, waving her hand, “I’ll be right here.”

Bucky does not want to admit that the shower feels amazing. But it absolutely does. Stupid Addison.

When he comes back to his room, Addison is texting someone. She’s got a goofy smile on her face. It’s probably Zed. The thought twists like a knife in his guts. He sits on the futon.

“So, cuz,” Addison says, looking up, “you tried to take my man.”

“I wanted to be Clam Bake King,” Bucky explains. It sounds so feeble to his ears now.

Addison laughs, a little meanly. “I don’t know what kind of mental gymnastics you went through to justify your obvious attraction to Zed. But you owe me an apology.”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky says quickly. He’s feeling that cracking in his chest again. “It was a shitty thing to do for a stupid reason.”

“Apology accepted,” Addison says, simple as that. “But if we hadn’t been broken up, I definitely would not have. Are you going to start thinking things through now?”

Bucky runs a hand through his damp curls. “Yes! I’ve learned my lesson. I know I have to change.”

Addison's smile is sad. “Oh Bucky, how are you going to do that when you’re pro-keeping-things-the-way-they-are?”

“I’ll prove it!” Bucky says. “I will!”

“How?” Addison asks skeptically. He misses the unbridled support of the ACs but their inability to tell him what a shithead he is is how he got into this mess in the first place.

“I have an idea.”

+

The night of the Clam Bake, Zed is laying on his bed doing his reading for next week. Yeah, he’s all caught up and then some. Bonzo is dressed in his fanciest suit and doing his hair. He’s even got a corsage for Bree ready to go, a matching one pinned to his lapel.

“Cruska?” Bonzo asks him. 

Zed shrugs. No, he’s not cool, but he’ll get over it. Besides, if he keeps up these good study habits, he’ll be off academic probation in no time.

Bonzo heads out. “Gruight,” he says on his way out the door.

Exactly 12 minutes later, Zed is _starving_. He grabs a protein bar from his desk drawer but it doesn’t help. Grumbling about the difficulties of his life, he gets dressed and walks over to the dining hall, where a big brightly coloured sign announces CLOSED FOR THE CLAM BAKE! HEAD ON OVER THERE FOR DINNER!

He loves living in Seabrook, Zed reminds himself. Except how one event can shut the whole town down. Then it’s super fucking annoying.

He starts scrolling through his phone for delivery, seriously anything, he’s not picky. But every restaurant is closed or not accepting orders.

Well, he’ll just have to starve then because he’s not going to that fucking Clam Bake. He walks home, grumpy, and eats 3 more protein bars. He doesn’t feel better.

He can’t attempt studying anymore so he starts scrolling through the SeaBook app on his phone, which is full of his friends having a great time at the Clam Bake. He sighs and refreshes his feed. A video Bree posted pops up.

She’s grinning into the camera with Bonzo. “Hey guys, we’re here at the Clam Bake and having the best time! I voted Bonzo for Clam Bake King! But he’s already king of my heart!!!” She does a quick 360 degree pan of the party and the video ends on a shot of the massive countdown clock. The sign above it reads CLAM BAKE CORONATION COUNTDOWN. There’s 5 minutes left.

Zed sighs and drops his phone. He doesn’t feel any better. In fact, he might actually feel worse. He sprawls back on his bed and flings an arm over his eyes. _Great going, Necrodopoulus._

He hears a knock.

He lifts his head. It doesn’t sound like someone knocking on his door.

He hears it again. It’s coming from the window.

Who the fuck is knocking at his window? If it’s Addison and Eliza trying to get him to come to the Clam Bake, he might actually zombie out on them.

He peeks through the blinds and his mouth drops open.

There’s Bucky, dressed in a mint tuxedo (where does he even _find_ these clothes?) and holding a speaker that looks like one of those 80s boomboxes over his head. It has been bedazzled to death.

Bucky says something but Zed can’t quite catch it. He steps back and lifts the blinds and opens the window. Yeah, he’s still pretty pissed at Bucky but he has to know what the _fuck_ is going on.

“What?” Zed says. It comes out a bit bitchier than he quite meant it to be but fuck it, Bucky was a whole asshole to him.

“I uh, okay,” Bucky starts. “I didn’t realise I’d be like four feet away from you.” He raises his voice a bit. “Zed, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. Compared to you, being the Clam Bake King is nothing. But there’s only one way, I can really show you that.”

Bucky puts the speaker down and bends down to fiddle with his phone.

“You’re missing your coronation,” Zed tells him.

Bucky looks up and there’s that smile again. “I know,” he says.

Then the music starts.

“Und gaaaaaaaar gar ga zaaaaaaaaa,” Bucky sings and he is really not a good singer, but wow is he ever trying.

And even though the whole thing is completely cheesy, Zed feels himself softening. Bucky really missed his chance to be Clam Bake King, just to sing a zombie version of _I Will Always Love You_ by Whitney Houston outside Zed’s window. Zed finds himself leaning over his window sill, craning to get closer. There really is something magnetic about Bucky.

When Bucky finishes, Zed lets the silence stretch between them for minute before he asks, “Did you translate that yourself?”

“Eliza and Bonzo helped,” Bucky says. “And Google, of course. Wouldn’t want to ask you to rub peanut butter on my umbrella.”

“Come here,” Zed says neutrally. Bucky steps closer, a little hesitantly, like he’s not sure what Zed’s going to do. Zed’s chest starts to ache from where he’s leaning into the window sill but he ignores it. His hands are itching to cradle Bucky’s face but he ignores that too. “Why the fuck would you choose that song?” Zed asks. There may or may not be manly tears pricking his eyes. From the chest pain. Yep.

Bucky turns bright red. “Well, she says I will always love you, which is what I was going for,” he explains and Zed starts laughing.

“That’s not going to be our song,” Zed says. He gives into temptation and cradles Bucky’s cheeks in both hands.

Bucky’s answering smile is shy but so, so bright. “It won’t?” he asks, his voice a little huskier than usual.

“We’ll pick a better one,” Zed says, but barely finishes that sentence before he’s kissing Bucky as hard as he can. “Get _in_ here,” he orders after a minute. Or two.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Bucky says. “Step back.”

Zed slips off his shirt and sits on his bed. Bucky hoists himself up onto the window sill and flips gracefully into the room. He lands in a perfect gymnast pose, notices Zed is shirtless, and almost falls over. Zed wants to laugh, not at Bucky, but from sheer fizzing _happiness_.

Smile aside, there’s nothing shy about the way Bucky walks over, straddles Zed, and kisses him into oblivion. 

“Bucky,” Zed manages between kisses, “listen.” Bucky lifts his head from where he’s sucking a mark into the skin of Zed’s throat. “If you want me to rub peanut butter onto your umbrella, I absolutely will.” 

Bucky laughs, running his hands over Zed’s chest and arms, and kisses him again.

A few minutes later Zed hears something and freezes. He stops struggling with the buttons on Bucky’s shirt.  
  
“Bucky,” he says. “Do you hear that?”

“Mmphmrw?” Bucky says. And then his head snaps up. “Oh shit.”

“What?” Zed asks.

Bucky’s eyes are huge. Deer-caught-in-the-headlights huge.

“What?” Zed asks again. The noise continues. And seems to be getting louder.

“Well,” Bucky says quickly, “I made a Plan B. Just in case you didn’t like the serenade! Or you didn’t believe that I was really sorry. And I got so carried away….that I forgot to call it off.” He winces and shuts both eyes, clearly bracing himself for Zed to go off on him.

Zed is ready to feel seething anger but instead he just feels oddly charmed. Trust Bucky to have a ridiculous backup plan. “What did you do?” Zed asks.

Bucky opens one eye when Zed doesn’t start yelling at him. “You missed the Clam Bake,” he says, “so I thought I'd bring the Clam Bake to you.”

The noise is getting louder with every second. In fact, it’s almost at Zed’s window. Bucky pulls him to the window to look outside and he sees a mass of people and zombies, _Seabrookians_ , walking down the street cheering.

They’re being led by the cheer van slowly rolling ahead. It’s still too far away for Zed to see who’s driving but he can just make out the cheer coming from the bullhorn: GIVE ME A L! GIVE ME AN O! GIVE ME A V! GIVE ME AN E! WHAT’S THAT SPELL? WHAT’S BUCKY FEELING?

It sounds like Eliza.

He looks down at Bucky, who keeps his eyes fixed on the crowd of people. They’re cheering along happily, wailing noisemakers and having a great time. Then the cheer van rolls in front of Zed’s window - Addison is driving and Eliza _is_ the one cheering - and he sees it’s been repainted. Instead of Bucky’s smiling face, there’s a picture of Zed with the words CLAM BAKE KING OF BUCKY’S HEART.

“Oh my zod,” Zed mutters. “I should have held out. I was a _fool_.”

Bucky elbows him gently in the ribs and the crowd thankfully doesn’t stop in front of Zed’s window, but everyone’s cheers when they see Zed kissing Bucky for all he’s worth ring in Zed’s ears.

“Zed,” Bucky says against Zed’s lips because Zed refuses to move them away, “I’m so, so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”

Zed lifts his head to press his forehead to Bucky’s. “There is one more thing you can do,” he says. He can’t help teasing him. Just a little.

“What?” Bucky says.

“Bree and Bonzo will be back soon,” Zed says.

“Okay….” says Bucky, confused.

“So why don’t you take me upstairs to your room and you can show me exactly how you want me to rub peanut butter on your umbrella?”

Bucky steps out of Zed’s arms, slams the window closed, and starts pulling Zed towards the door.

+

_One week later_

“So zombies aren’t off-limits anymore, right?” Lacy asks, eyeing someone across the quad and chewing on a pencil suggestively. “They’re like, _on_ -limits?”

Bucky looks down at Zed, whose head is in his lap as he reads a textbook, to see a quick what-the-fuck expression slip across his face. Bucky snorts.

“Yes, Lacy, zombies are on-limits,” Bucky says.

He barely finishes his sentence before she slams her textbook, mutters “cool,” and makes her way over to the cute but totally unsuspecting zombie in question.

Kissing his own zombie boyfriend is also totally on-limits, so Bucky does just that, even though he has to curve his spine at a super awkward angle to do it. 

Worth it.

Zed smiles happily up at him when Bucky straightens up. It turns out Bucky’s not so pro-keeping-things-the-way-they-are as he thought.

  
  


_The End_

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Bucky's major is Kinesiology with a minor in Cheer.
> 
> Nigellica brought me out of fic-writing retirement with this plot bunny, she is the WORST.


End file.
